Tuesday, February 6, 2018


If you haven't heard the disgustingly sexist comments from PepsiCo's CEO Indra Nooyi regarding making special Doritos for Women, check out The New York Times' re-cap of what went down.

I have a few thoughts about this...“They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public,” she said. “And they don’t lick their fingers generously, and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.” and added “how can you put it in a purse? Because women love to carry a snack in their purse.”  Number 1, MADAM, who doesn't want a crunchy chip?? A chip with no crunch is called a Potato! That's the opposite of what you sell! A Dorito with less crunch? That's a Tortilla! Women don't want less crunch, they want to live in a world where they are free to crunch as loud as they fucking want without old ladies like Mrs. Nooyi giving them shit for it. Number 2, we LOVE to lick our fingers, that's literally the best part! Concentrated flavor! A treat at the end of your snack. The reason Adult Women don't lick our fingers in public is A) that's gross and B) we are sexualized for doing it in public. But we LOVE to do that shit in the privacy of our own homes, cars, and cubicles. Sucking the flavor out from under our acrylics is more satisfying then you can ever understand! And honestly, if we really don't want to do it in a public setting, we aren't barbarians, we are fully capable of wiping our hands on a napkin, or getting up to, you know, WASH OUR HANDS! Number 3, show me the Woman who doesn't pour the crumbs in her mouth? Who is she?? I never met her and MA'AM I believe you made that bullshit up. Real talk, look at Mrs. Nooyi, does she strike you as a woman who has ever eaten a bag of Doritos? Not at all. So how could she know how to eat a bag? Number 4... Purses are for carrying things. If you don't know how a purse works I seriously doubt you have the skills to run a company properly. Women don't LOVE to carry a snack in their purse. They HAVE to carry a purse because pockets are not made appropriately in women's clothing to offer us the ability to walk around without being human targets. So while we have it, we throw snacks in it. We don't need special Pink Doritos to accomplish that.

Look, maybe i'm taking an aggressively extreme stance on this, but her points are extreme and they undermine equality among the sexes. I find it incredibly tactless that a FEMALE CEO would continue to perpetuate stereotypes about women in this manner.  Saying things like this, and attempting to sell products like this perpetuates an idea of what it is to be female that disparages feminine strength, feminine ingenuity, & sexual equality. But here is why that is really scary, because Mrs. Nooyi is head of GLOBAL strategy. I don't think she cares about independent, free thinking, loud, chip crunching American Women. I think that she means to market this in Countries that still draw deep lines between the equality of Men and Women. I think her goal is to market these in places that would see the oppression of Women remain ingrained in society. Why? Because that's where money is to be made. 'Women, you have to buy this bag for yourselves, and ANOTHER better bag for your husband and sons'... double the sales. Her comments are dangerous, I really believe that selling a watered down version of a product and saying it is for Women leads to Women being treated like watered down versions of people. Worse, saying a better version of food is only for men subconsciously tells women they are less than worthy of the same food, treatment, etc as men. That is an insane idea!

Doritos America had a great tweet that they posted that I want to share. "We already have Doritos for women — they’re called Doritos, and they’re loved by millions." I hope Mrs. Nooyi takes note, because it's true. Food is not just for men, it's for all of us.

Lastly, I just like to mention, as a chip blog. That if Pepsi Co really want to break some ground, they can start giving Americans better tasting chips. It's pretty simple. Source better quality ingredients, make your chips taste better! Expand the Simple and Simple Organic line. Show that quality has value. American society is moving away from plastic tasting junk foods, and since we are ALL HUMANS we want to eat things that taste good. Quality has been shown time and time again to produce better tasting food. Instead of thinking of some way to bamboozle people into buying Lady Doritos, or only focusing on emerging markets to keep selling your old products to; focus on innovation and upgrading the quality of what you're making. Expand the Doritos flavor range. We've all been eating the same 2 flavors for forever! (Actually at this point, it might be genius for Doritos to make fun of this and launch a heavy metal themed, extra crunchy bag of Doritos and call it Lady Doritos) But focus on the actual FOOD!

Years ago, Coca Cola admitted that they had not paid attention to changing desires from consumers until it was too late, by then Coca Cola was blamed for the obesity crisis and had to buy up expensive competitors like Vitamin Water to make its move towards the healthier choices consumers preferred. Does Pepsi want to look back in a few years and realize they were on the wrong side of history, remaining not only a beacon of crappy snacks, but as a brand that is synonymous with inequality?

Those are my thoughts, I know you don't come here for my political posts, it's supposed to be a stupid fun thing about chips... but Thank You for taking the time to read it and I owe you some new posts about what you're really here for soon.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Lay's France Jambon Braise

I am so torn by this bag.

On one hand, I love the flavor of Ham. Ham chips will always and forever be some of my favorite chips.

However. I tried these on the same day I ate some Walkers. And it reminded me so strongly that Walkers makes some of the best damn chips around.
The texture of chips manufactured by Lay's France can not come close to the texture of Walkers. Not in any universe are they even neighbors!
France always makes thin, crumbly, flakey, overcooked, semi flavorless chips.... and once again we have that here in this bag.
Which is unfortunate, because the flavors from Lay's France are incredible. The Ham flavor is decadent and rich and meaty and sumptuous. But it is almost wasted on a lackluster potato chip.

Now, don't get me wrong, on it's own, the chip holds up and is a nice treat. But, when you are eating it, literally at the same time you are eating Walkers, the failures become overwhelmingly obvious.

Final Thoughts: If you are in France and you like these meaty flavors, please feel free to pick up a bag and eat it. Lord knows there are worse chips around. But, if you are looking for Potato quality, search elsewhere.
But, what do you think? Have you tried French Lay's? Do you agree? Disagree? Let us know in the comments below.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Walkers UK Market Deli Balsamic Vinegar of Modena

Gotta love those Walkers Chips.

IDK how they make the chips taste so good in the UK, but I want to live my life by the same philosophy.

The chips as usual are rich and tasty and crispy. This time paired with a sweet and acid punch of "Balsamic Vinegar of Modena". Unlike the kick from a traditional "Salt & Vinegar" crisp, the Balsamic flavoring has the more complex flavor and sweetness of the grape sugars used to produce Balsamic.
I would liken this bag to sitting at an Italian restaurant and dipping bread in freshly poured Balsamic Vinegar.  It's very true to the flavor described.

The bag is incredibly tasty and unique and I would highly recommend it to any fans of the delicious chips being made by Walkers. The texture and unique flavors can rarely be beat. Loved this bag! A+

Monday, September 18, 2017

Gotta Get At This: Lay's USA Bacon Wrapped Jalapeño Popper Walmart Exclusive

Do you guys remember back when Lay's unveiled the "Do Us A Flavor" 10 Semi finalists. IDK, if yall remember me saying that this flavor sounded so good that it should be a permanent flavor... but I did and I guess Walmart felt similarly. Right now, as a tie in to the "Do Us A Flavor" competition (That's stupid and weird btw Lay's), you can find the "Bacon Wrapped Jalapeño Popper" flavor exclusively at Walmart. I don't know how limited the run of it will be, but it is a bag being carried by Walmart outside of the competition, so it could stay a store exclusive. That's weird, but I think Walmart got a good deal. These are a sure fire seller regardless of what they taste like.

So... if you want to try these, climb over the mountain of homeless people outside and make your way down the stinky aisles of Walmart to hunt these down. Who knows how much longer you'll be able to.

Happy Hunting!

Friday, September 15, 2017

"The Spotted Cheetah" Pop-Up Cheetos Restaurant in New York with Chef Anne Burrell

For one weekend only last month Chester Cheetah opened up a Cheetos restaurant in NYC. The food sounds like it was Amazing... check out the awesome info from the website.

Here is the introduction:
"Cheetos by Chester. 
Food by Anne Burrell.
Welcome to my restaurant. Well, my restaurant’s website!
As all of you (hopefully) know, I have a passion for cheesy, crunchy and downright delicious food. After years of cooking up dishes infused with my cheesy snacks, I was over the moon to discover that Cheetos connoisseurs had started sharing and liking their own. All of the Cheetos sushi rolls, Cheetos bagels and cheesy Cheetos pizzas gave me a brilliant idea: recruit the most dangerously cheesy celebrity chef, Anne Burrell, to help elevate my almost-purrfect Cheetos recipes for the very first Cheetos restaurant, The Spotted Cheetah.
Pull up a chair and grab a napkin — you’re going to need it because it’s about to get dangerously cheesy!
Chester Cheetah
Real dining. Real delicious.
Really, reserve your spot now."

The Menu sounds incredible:

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Elma Chips Brazil Cheetos Assado Lua Parmesao

Cheetos are the best. They are just THEEEE best.

But, for some reason, people in other countries just DO NOT understand the magic of Cheetos. They be changing em and making em all weird.

So, in Brazil, the Cheetos line comes in different shapes but they are all puffs... there are no crunchy Cheetos. They shapes are "Lua" which look like traditional Puffs, "Bola" which look like Cheese Balls, "Fogo" which look like Paws, "Explosao" which look like Triangles, and "Onda" which are a squigly shape (and maybe more). The Assado subtitle translates to Roasted, but I'm guessing in Portuguese that also means to Bake because of the Latin root in the word... and this picture from their facebook...
In America, Puffs are Oven-Dried, not Fried... so that might also be what this means. How are Cheese Puffs made?? Whatever the answer, that is why this label says "Assado". I don't know what other subtitles they have, if it says "Pipoca" that is Cheetos Popcorn.

Ok, so moving on from that lil mini wiki. These are in a "Parmesan Cheese" flavor. The Cheddar flavor tragically doesn't exist there.
So, the review... the Puff was fine. It's a corn puff, you can't really mess it up. The seasoning is crazy. It tastes so much like Parmesan, which I love. But, it was TOO real. It tasted EXACTLY like those dried Parmesan crisps, but a puff! It has the distinctive after taste of Parmesan. It was just TOOOO real. I like Cheetos because I like Cheetos seasoning. It is the most perfect seasoning in the Universe, and I am consistently SHOCKED to not see it at all in other countries offerings. Brazil! You are missing out!!
But, if you want to try something KIND-OF like Cheetos while you are away, and you like the strong taste of Parm, try these, they are weird, but DELICIOUS!

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Lay's USA Everything Bagel

I caved guys. I caved.
Here is a bag of the Kettle Cooked "Everything Bagel" flavor from Lay's USAs current "Do Us A Flavor" competition.
In the lead up to trying it, it didn't sound very good. I imagined heavy cream cheese flavor (like a "sour cream & onion" bag) and minimal "everything bagel" flavor. I was wondering how they could replicate the unique potency of poppy seeds and all the other treasures on an everything bagel... well, now we know.
First of all, I was shocked by how mild the cream cheese flavor was. I could almost go out on a limb and say they could have added more; but I don't want to nit-pick. It was very tasty, just enough cream cheese flavor to compliment the garlic, onion, AND.... poppy seed... real... poppy seed!
What shook me the most about this bag was how strong that flavor of "Everything Bagel" really was. When I gave the chips a better look, I noticed they were actually covered in REAL poppy seeds. I didn't think Lay's would pull off that move... but they did; and it pays off big time with this bag. It lends an incredibly authentic flavor to what they were trying to accomplish with this bag. The bag really tastes like an Everything bagel.
Lastly, I just want to touch on the fact that the Kettle Cooked chips used to be my favorite cook on chips from Lay's USA... but today I consider it hit or miss. These fell somewhere in between. I can't say I loved the texture. But, they were cooked, not burnt, and tasted very fresh, so, It was just the texture that I didn't care for as much as the seasoning.

Anyways, let me know... have you guys tried these? Have you tried the competition yet? What did you think? Did they surprise you like they surprised me?

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Gotta Get At This: Lay's Canada Sizzlin’ Szechuan and Paprika & Sweet Onion

We get it Lay's Canada! You watch Rick & Morty!
(Canada is so cool you guys)

Look at that! Capitalizing on the WAVE of Szechuan Sauce fans coming out, here is Lay's Canada's new "Sizzlin' Szechuan" and "Paprika & Sweet Onion". The two flavors are very bold in contrast to the rest of Canada's range... but I find that exciting!
I tried the US's "Chinese Szechuan" offering last year and it was good... it tasted JUST like Chinese takeout, so, I'd give the Canadian version a chance. As for "Paprika & Sweet Onion" I love Paprika the spice... put it on anything for me... this sounds like a WIN.

Anyways, these are available now, possibly for a limited time, grab em, order em on ebay, do what you gotta do.

Happy Hunting everyone!

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

OK Here's Some Late News: Lay's Canada World Flavourites & Chalet Sauce

These came out last year, I missed them, I know I did... but THANKFULLY, none were truly original flavors.
The flavors were part of Lay's Canada's "World Flavourites" (get it, like, Favorites?) a promotion that ran last Summer in Canada. The Thai inspired flavor is "Thai Sweet Chili", which is a favorite of mine when Walkers in the UK makes it. The Canadian inspired flavor is from Lay's Canada's 2014 "Do Us A Flavour" competition... it is the "Bacon Poutine" flavor. And The UK inspired flavor is "Cheese & Onion"... one of the classic Walkers UK flavors... I think this tastes like "In & Out" a local fast food chain here in California, it's an awesome flavor combo. Sooooo.... sorry for the outdated news, but the bags are still something cool to look at. I've never seen this packaging before from Lay's and I really like it. It blends the "Do Us A Flavor" packaging with a new look.

Secondly, there was a new Canadian release last Fall with the flavor "Swiss Chalet Chalet Sauce". The bags are exclusive to select Swiss Chalet restaurants in Canada. They emulate the flavor of the Chalet Sauce, a cult favorite since the sauce was developed in 1954. Apparently, these sold out SUPER fast, so Lay's ordered more. I'd guess you can still hunt these down if you were to call up a few Swiss Chalets.

That wraps it up for late news, there are also a pair of new flavors from Canada that just released, I'll give you the details about all that asap. Enjoy & happy hunting.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Contest: Lay's USA Do Us A Flavor 2017 Finalists

Well, it was a nice run America.
We tried to do some cool shit here. But then somehow we got a Cheeto for a President, and we got these 3 bags of dumpster garbage as our "Do Us A Flavor" Finalists.
I read about this in the book of Revelations, and I thought it was all a Metaphor. I was wrong. So wrong.

Look, Ima keep it 100 with yall. I'm not going to buy these for review. They all sound stupid and gross. If someone shares one with me, and I don't die of potato chip poisoning, I might discuss. But otherwise, I refuse to give Lay's USA my money here.

You can read my thoughts on these flavors in the last post I wrote about Lay's USA's Semi-finalists. I'm not going to reiterate how lackluster all of these sound. I will note that here in California, the only flavor I've heard anyone even debate tasting is the Crispy Taco flavor... which to me also seems like the only one of the 3 that might pack any sort of interesting flavor.

So, here are your finalists America. Enjoy the End of Days.